What is the difference between love and desire

What Is The Difference Between Love And Desire?

So many couples experience stale sex and relationship boredom – they feel ample love but desire has suffered. The reason for this is that love and desire conflict.

“Love is when you care, worry, feel responsible for someone. With love you want to minimize threats, reduce distance and be nurturing. Safety is the primary goal. In contrast desire is all about freedom and autonomy.

Many women like ‘bad boys’ because you don’t have to worry about them. You don’t feel safe but it’s freeing in terms of desire. With people we are less emotionally involved in there is more freedom and less worry. It is the care, worry and feeling of responsibility we feel for our beloved that squashes the freedom necessary for desire. What nurtures love is not what fuels desire and what turns us on sexually isn’t always what is emotionally safe.

Long term relationships involve responsibility. Women are often challenged to give themselves he permission for pleasure, even when it is a simple matter of taking time for themselves. When attending to the needs of others -whether it be a husband or children- they can  forego their own needs more easily than men do. One example is giving in to sex when it is not desired over the long term breeds resentment and is a turn off erotically because of the lack of perceived choice in the matter/freedom.

Where there is nurturing women have a hard time sustaining desire. We choose love over desire because that’s what we feel we should do. When we pair up in a monogamous relationship both men and women trade off adventure for the predictability and exchange the erotic needs for security needs.

So how can love and desire coexist in a long term, committed relationship?

Introduce and cultivate the unexpected. Break the routine – what you talk about, activities, how you react to each other. Bring vitality back – shake things up! Fire needs air, couples need to fan the flame. Desire needs uncertainty—keep mystery and adventure alive by injecting the unpredictable and unexpected. Helping couples brainstorm on how to do this is an important part of any treatment plan to rekindle desire.

About Author: Angela Winslow of couplescare.net specializes in marriage counseling and couples therapy in San Diego. Affairs, infidelity, communication skills, sex therapy and parenting are areas of expertise.

Good Air Filters Are MERVelous At Keeping You and Your Employees Healthy

It’s easy to overlook certain things in our lives that we should pay more attention to… Remember those air filters you meant to have replaced back in the fall? We thought so. No doubt about it, it’s easy to forget that the filters in our HVAC systems need to be changed every three months. Think of it this way, have them changed with the seasons.

Air filters are made of different types of media, including fiberglass, pleated cotton, pleated paper, or polyester allowing some to work more efficiently than others. An air filter’s efficiency is measured in units called MERVs (Minimum Efficiency Reporting Values) which is a scale created by the American Society of Heating, Refrigerating, and Air Conditioning Engineers. A particular filter’s MERV rating is based primarily on the filter material being used and ranges from 1-20. The higher the MERV, the more effective the filter is at cleaning the air entering the HVAC system and emerging at the registers.

This is an important fact to consider because while almost all air filters are designed to trap dust & lint, only more efficient filters will also trap allergens, mold, pollen, and dander. Certain filters even have the ability to trap bacteria and viruses in an effort to improve the overall indoor air quality of your business.

When used in conjunction with professional green cleaning services, such as those offered by Eagle Building Maintenance and Janitorial Services (Eagle BMJ), it’s easy to see how your entire business can be cleaner & greener for everyone!

About Author: Eagle BMJ offers a wide range of professional cleaning services performed by trained professionals who will properly clean and care for your facility. Making the decision about who cleans your business doesn’t have to be difficult, and we’ll gladly prove it to you. Contact Eagle BMJ in NJ today at (888) 730-1123 to arrange for a FREE, no obligation, on-site consultation and allow us to do what we do best so you can do what you do best!

Finding A Great Soul Food Restaurant In Anaheim California

Where do you want to go to eat? For some, this question is the beginning of an endless abyss of “I don’t know,” followed by an exhaustive sigh of finally settling on an experience that is interchangeable amongst the multitude of innocuous restaurants in the surrounding area.

By contrast, how many times has a region, however small or out-of-the-way, seemed like an enticing travel destination simply because of the deeply satisfying eating that it promises? Now, what if that unique experience could be had at home?

In Anaheim, if you’re pining for a casual dining, southern food restaurant, it’s time to become acquainted with Georgia’s. Founder Gretchen Shoemaker promises a dining experience that is as close to a taste of the Deep South as it gets in SoCal.

Many describe their food as soul food, but few articulate exactly what makes theirs a soul food restaurant.

A simple glance at Georgia’s menu, however, offers all the proof you need that this is the real deal. Sweet potato pie, collard greens, meatloaf and fried chicken—these are the dishes that trigger our visceral association with soul food. And it’s in that moment that you realize just how precious a commodity it is in these parts.

A good restaurant leaves you feeling satisfied. A great restaurant leaves you talking about the food as you make your way back home, a promise to return as soon as you can to try something new, a sweet taste that lingers through the next morning. Georgia’s is that kind of restaurant. The sensation of a moment seized—Oh, that chicken—and a moment squandered—I ran out of room—twisted up together inside of you. The craving building anew, even as you try, hopelessly, to get comfortable, you and your overly full stomach.

Visit Georgia’s Yelp page to find out more.

About the Author: Gretchen Shoemaker, the heart of Georgia’s would tell you it is the food you get when you cook with your whole heart and soul.

When Your Work And Life Balance Is Off Kilter

You know the feeling. Stretched to the limit. Candle burning at both ends. When you’re at work you feel guilty staying late. And you try to get a few things done on the Internet to save you time at home. When you’re home you’re answering work e-mails and texting your boss. Work and home lines blur. You feel frazzled. Exhausted. And ineffectual at both home and work.

Let’s face it. In this economy it often seems necessary to go to work early and stay late. People take fewer vacations and don’t even use all the time they’re allotted. Meanwhile, their general well being suffers, to say nothing of their relationships. If this is how you feel, it’s time to step back and take inventory.

What can you do to recalibrate your work/life balance?

Step up your exercise routine. Chances are, you’ve let it lapse. You probably feel the only way you’ll get an extra hour here and there is to cut yoga class or skip your morning run. But, in fact, exercise can be the very boon you need to make you more productive. Research shows exercise can help you feel more alert and boost your energy level. It’s one of those things you don’t want to do when you’re dragging, but glad you did once you’ve done it. It also helps keep you healthy—you don’t have time to be sick!

Cut back on people and things that sap your energy. Do you really need to read everyone’s Facebook posts three times a day? And how about learning to say no to the colleague who corners you with boring stories in the lunchroom? Or the person who sucks you into needless drama that you’d be better off without? Perhaps you have a pile of papers on your desk that gets bigger every day. Make it a practice to handle each item only once—either take action or file it or throw it away. Think about how you spend your days. Are there other ways you can cut back on wasted time and energy?

Put relaxation into your schedule. Most people plan their days to include all the things they’re going to do. But don’t pack your days so tightly that you don’t have time for a little fun and relaxation. It doesn’t have to be a lot of time. But everyone can take ten minutes a day to meditate.  Or a 20-minute afternoon nap. And it wouldn’t kill you to leave the office early every so often. Or just sit at your desk for five minutes with your eyes closed while you take a few deep breaths. Or take 20 minutes for a yoga sun salutation. Or just simply go outside and enjoy the fresh air.

About Author: Nancy Travers is an Orange County Counseling professional. If you need safe, effective counseling services, please get in touch. You can reach her here: http://www.nancyscounselingcorner.com/contact-us.

The Making of a Pitmaster

KITCHEN CONFIDENTIAL

Drew Abruzzese is a relentless chef. So when a smoker landed in his lap, he, naturally, dove down the rabbit hole.

By Mike Madaio

 

“I can’t sit still,” Drew Abruzzese says. “I’m always looking for my next big thing.”

Abruzzese is the executive chef at The Pineville Tavern, which is owned by his family. It’s a position he’s held since 2010 at a restaurant he’s helped out at in one way or another since he was a kid. So that hyperactivity may be rooted in a restlessness. But Abruzzese is also someone who’s keenly conscious of his evolution as a chef, perhaps because he realized early on that if he didn’t challenge himself, no one was likely to.

So when his mother-in-law gifted him a home charcoal smoker, it was an impetus. The kindling was already arranged. “Salty, crispy, crusty meats are maybe my favorite thing on the planet—besides my wife, of course,” he says. Overnight, he became consumed with barbequing. Soon after, he and a friend went in together on a 55-gallon drum smoker. Abruzzese christened it with a dozen chickens.

He spent the ensuing summer studying the nuances imparted by slight adjustments in temperature and different kinds of smoke, consuming book after book, experimenting as he went along. All the while, it was purely about mastery—until it became evident that it wasn’t.

“When we pulled that smoker open and met this amazing meat, that was the beginning of Big Q BBQ right there,” Abruzzese says. “That was when we said, we can do something with this.”

Big Q BBQ is the fast-casual restaurant Abruzzese opened last summer in Levittown. Earlier this summer, he opened a takeout-only offshoot at the tavern. But before it was either of those things, it was a massive smoker (his second upgrade) that Abruzzese carted between the tavern, where he served barbeque on the patio during the weekends, and the Wrightstown Farmers Market down the road on Saturday mornings. The latter became a testament to his latest progression. He arrived confident in his barbeque, dying to share it. But who wants to eat barbeque at 9 a.m.? Abruzzese adapted, quickly and creatively.

“I started putting pulled pork on an egg-and-cheese,” he says. “Which turned into brisket, egg and cheese and, eventually, The Ultimate: pulled pork, brisket, bacon and cheese.”

Once word of mouth started to catch on, he was making 50, 60 Ultimates on a given Saturday morning.

In spite of his rapid spiral down the rabbit hole, Abruzzese seems to have emerged with an appreciation for barbeque’s simplicity.

“It’s easy to get nerdy about it, but you shouldn’t overcomplicate it,” he says.

Then you won’t mind sharing how you go about making yours?

“It’s hard to explain, other than to say, well, it’s proprietary.”

The Big Q BBQ site, at least, dissects the process, but only in broad strokes: “traditional, time-honored methods,” “dry-rubbing our meat cuts,” “our secret blend of awesome seasonings and spices,” “slow-smoke it in our authentic, custom-designed smoker,” “our own blend of aged and seasoned hardwoods,” “smooth, slightly tangy smoke,” “literally hours and hours for the smoke to cook, tenderize and flavorize the meat.”

“You can use the same rub, smoke over the same wood for the same time and yours isn’t going to taste like mine,” Abruzzese says. “That doesn’t mean mine is better or yours is better, just that every single one is different. It’s important to do your own thing.”

Read: He spent more nights than he cares to remember breathing in thick smoke, learning and then perfecting the oldest—and maybe most elusive—culinary technique there is, cooking meat over coals. So, yeah, we’re on our own.

Abruzzese’s eyeing up additional Big Q BBQ locations—with one eye, at least. The other, true to his nature, is scoping out a potential new frontier.

“There just happens to be an H Mart across the street from the restaurant,” he says, “so now I’m all over Vietnamese cooking and Korean barbeque.”

 

Who Doesn’t Want To Be Picked Up In A Chauffeur Driven Luxury Limousine

Travel To Events In Luxury Limousines For A Great Entrance

Los Angeles and the surrounding counties are an area full of excitement and glamor, and they are home to some of the most highly-rated restaurants and entertainment venues in the nation. From the luxurious Rodeo Drive, to the posh spas and special events, both residents and visitors love to immerse themselves in these high-end experiences. It’s almost like capturing a little bit of that celebrity feeling while indulging in the best our area has to offer. Southern California offers incredibly diverse and unique attractions, and whether you want to dine out at Spago or attend that hot new club opening, you certainly want to embrace every bit of elegance you can.

For truly special occasions, many people want to travel in ultimate style and seek out limousine rentals. At Car Service Orange County, we proudly offer the best limo service rates in Los Angeles and the surrounding areas. We can help you plan a for whatever type of excursion you desire, including milestone birthdays and anniversaries, graduations, proms, movie premiers, galas, or simply the luxurious evening you deserve.

When you hire a limo service, you do so for the both the comfort and sense of indulgence that come with these specialty vehicles and driver services. Our team wants to add to those goals by planning the best routes, providing pristine service, and focusing on catering to your needs and wishes. We understand that, when you invest in a limousine rental, you expect a truly high-end experience. We are committed to delivering just that. From your initial scheduling to your final drop off, you see why so many residents and executives turn to us for their luxury transportation needs.

Whether you want to book a Los Angeles party limo, or you simply want an elegant option for a special occasion, let Car Service Orange County help. To schedule an event, contact our team at 714-241-7040 and we’ll help you plan the perfect experience.

Pros And Cons Of Airport Shuttle Services. What About Safety And Reliability

How Do You Know You’re Getting What You Pay For When You Choose A Shuttle Airport Ride?

At Airport Shuttle Orange County, we know that travelers in Southern California have plenty of options when it comes to Orange County airport transportation. While taxis and traditional shuttles have long been possibilities, the rise of Uber and similar services have also offered new options. However, we also know that all of these often have just as many drawbacks as benefits.

Let’s take a look at how the cons of these services can affect your travel experience, and why our airport shuttle service is far superior and more affordable.

  • Traditional shuttles—most traditional shuttles make money by planning multiple stops, picking up as many passengers as possible. This not only makes your travel time much longer, but also certainly less comfortable. This option offers a similar experience to taking public transportation, just on a slightly smaller scale. Airport Shuttle Orange County, on the other hand, offers direct transportation, never with any ride sharing.
  • Taxis—Unfortunately, the quality and safety of taxis varies greatly. They are not known for their cleanliness, and the drivers have a vested interest in keeping you in the vehicle for as long as possible. This means that they have no motivation to take the most direct routes, and their rates are usually on the higher-side. Our clean, comfortable shuttles offer a private experience, and our commitment to direct-route operations demonstrates our business model of trust, ethics, and safety.
  • Uber—This widely popular transportation service often feels more like a gamble than a reliable option. From late pick-ups to drivers who may not know the best routes, you could end up spending more on a sub-par experience than you would for a professional service. Our nonstop airport shuttle services, on the other hand, come with highly-trained drivers while still offering discount pricing.

We Offer Direct Shuttle Services, Never Any Ride Sharing… Use Us and Get There Faster & Cheaper Than Taxis or Uber.

If you need airport transportation, contact Airport Shuttle Orange County at (949) 250-9292 and discover how we can help you travel in safe, affordable, and timely comfort.

And Now for Something More Decadent

PROFILE

Our favorite food photographer is about to expose a deeper, darker side.

Pictured: “Farmer’s Table, Still Life,” 2014, photograph, Yelena Strokin.

 

She begins with a single object. It could be anything. Or nothing. Sometimes, it’s the perspective alone that starts stirring her thoughts. And once they’re set in motion, they’ll consume her for weeks on end. Gradually, she’ll begin to piece together a composition. Only when she knows it inside and out does she retreat to her studio. There, the process accelerates, but it’s still methodical, even though the light is fleeting. Shoot. Shift incrementally. Shoot again. And so on.

You know Yelena Strokin as the stylist, photographer and recipe author behind our Home Cooking column, the woman capable of making you crave just about anything at the mere turn of a page. But there’s a greater depth to Yelena and her photography that few beyond her own family are privy to. That’ll change next month when she’ll debut a collection of still-life photographs in the A-Space Gallery at the New Hope Arts Center. It’s Yelena’s first solo show, but not her first exhibit. In 2014, she was awarded Best of Show at the 22d annual Phillips’ Mill Photographic Exhibit, an affirmation for the self-taught photographer, but hardly a coming-out party.

Yelena took up photography when she started traveling—Nepal, India, Southeast Asia. But fine art has had a strong grip on her since she was a little girl in St. Petersburg, Russia. Its influence is clear in her coming exhibition (which she titled “A Glimpse Through the Flemish Window” as a nod to the roots of still-life painting). But over the course of the four years Yelena spent shooting the collection, it’s just as evident in those 30 or so images that she matured from awe-inspired student to an artist of her own right. —Scott Edwards

A Glimpse Through the Flemish Window,” September 2 (opening reception: 5 p.m. to 9 p.m.) through Sept. 29, the A-Space Gallery at the New Hope Arts Center.

6 Reasons Why You Really Need Auto Insurance

Car accidents are relatively common in the United States, especially in metropolitan areas like Greater Los Angeles. The law says you need liability insurance when driving, but there are many benefits to bulking up your auto insurance.

Many take driving for granted; it’s something that isn’t a guaranteed right as it can be dangerous without proper knowledge of cars, the rules of the road and even insurance.

Here are a few reasons to purchase auto insurance.

  • Your car is a source of transportation. Without it, you will have a much more difficult time getting around. Sure, you can try to rely on buses or even trains in bigger cities, but once you’re used to having a car, you come to rely on it. You can get collision insurance or even comprehensive insurance to help protect it.
  • Without it, accidents can get extremely expensive. If you don’t have suitable insurance, accidents can be expensive—both for cars and people. Auto insurance often helps pay for medical bills should your accident injure others. You may find yourself in quite a bit of debt without it.
  • You’ll have to pay your car off even if it gets damaged. If your car is wrecked beyond drivability, you’ll still need to pay off the loan. Car insurance can definitely help with that. Missing loan payments can damage your credit and your chances of getting another car soon.
  • It can protect against other damages as well. Car accidents aren’t the only way to damage a car. Auto insurance can help should someone vandalize, steal or break into your car, easing the financial burden you’d otherwise face to fix or replace it.

ABout Author: To bulk up your auto insurance in Orange County CA, contact Peter Green Insurance. Call (714) 258-2800 or get a free quote online

The West Closure Complex Protects 3 Parishes In New Orleans From Flooding

West Closure Complex… Humble Name, Huge Expectations

After Hurricane Katrina ravaged New Orleans in 2005, the U.S. Army Corps of Engineers was tasked with helping the State of Louisiana come up with a solution to control flooding in this vulnerable, low-lying area.

Part of their solution has an appropriately military-esque name… The Gulf Intercoastal Waterway (GIWW) – West Closure Complex and it’s a $1.1 billion engineering marvel consisting of earthen levees, floodwalls & other water control structures. It features a navigable, 225’ wide floodgate similar to what one would find protecting London from flooding on the River Thames. However, what makes the West Closure Complex unique is its mammoth pumping station. Powered by 11 Caterpillar diesel engines producing 5444 hp each, this facility is capable of filling an Olympic-sized swimming pool in just three seconds! This allows for the rapid removal of floodwaters from Orleans, Jefferson and Plaquemines parishes along the west bank of the Mississippi River.

The Coalition for Responsible Equitable Economic Development (CREED LA) proudly supports environmentally-responsible construction projects throughout Los Angeles that not only have a positive impact on the local community, but support LA’s working families as well.

About Author: CREED LA fights to ensure that developers pay fair wages to all the hard working construction professionals throughout the industry while simultaneously providing them with quality health care, continued training, and trustworthy retirement plans. To learn more about how our non-profit organization supports those building a better, greener world for us all, contact CREED LA at (877) 810-7473.