Author Archives: Bonnie Burns

New Year’s Resolutions for Couples

4 New Year’s Resolutions for Couples

Let’s face it. Resolutions are easy to make, tough to keep. When you make them as a team with your partner, you have a built-in support system that automatically gives you a better chance to succeed. And when you strive together toward the same goals, your relationship deepens. Here are some ideas to consider:

  1. Touch base regularly. Schedule a time every day that’s sacrosanct. When you can connect with your partner to share the joys and sorrows of the day. When you’re both crazy busy, this can be difficult to achieve. But it doesn’t have to take long—five minutes may do it for some. It’s the one time during the day when you put your relationship first. Make sure that if you have to postpone, you have a damn good reason that your partner understands. And don’t let it happen often.
  2. Break some bad habits. It’s difficult to do on your own. So support each other. Be accountable to each other. Cheer each other on. And make measurable goals. If you are on day three of not biting your nails, report it to your partner. If he has been to the gym twice this week, give him a pat on the back. Share your setbacks, too. And understand there will be some. This business of breaking bad habits is not easy, but it can be done. And it’s much easier with a partner.
  3. Take care of business. Make sure your financial house is in order. Review your finances to ensure you’re on target and that your plan is still in line with your goals. Make the appropriate adjustments. Set a realistic budget for the upcoming year and devise a plan to keep on track. Look over your will and check to see that all the details will still pertain in 2017. And if you don’t have one, for heaven’s sake, resolve to get one.
  4. Think before you talk. This is not an easy resolution to keep, but your relationship will be the better for it if you can. Try to be present when your partner is talking and focus on what he says. When you are fully engaged you are less likely to speak without thinking. Sometimes something unsaid is the wisest course of action. Save your battles for the most important issues. And then be sure you’re respectful and polite. Avoid nasty sarcasm at all costs. It comes perilously close to contempt, and contempt is poisonous to any relationship.

Of course, you should create whatever resolutions are right for you. The above suggestions are just that—suggestions to get you thinking. Not all of them will apply to you. And you don’t want to make too many resolutions—that’s setting yourself and your partner up for failure. Just chose one or two so you can focus on what’s most important. And then work together to achieve them.

About The Author: Nancy Travers is an Orange County Counseling professional. If you need safe, effective counseling services, please get in touch. You can reach her here: http://www.nancyscounselingcorner.com/contact-us.

How To Be Merry At Holiday Gatherings

You know the drill. Your Aunt Agatha always has her holiday brunch and your presence is mandatory. Or you must attend the awkward office party that requires you to mingle with people with whom you have absolutely nothing in common. Or go to the family meal, which may include total strangers or totally strange family members. Whatever the case, the holidays usually mean you need to get together with people you might otherwise chose not to socialize with. It is incumbent on you to behave reasonably well. Not always an easy task.

6 Tips On How To Be Merry at Holiday Gatherings

Keep an open mind. You might learn something. A friend thought a woman was totally boring until she revealed she had been born in France. Which opened up all sorts of opportunities for questions and interesting conversation. Everybody, even the biggest dolt, has a story. It’s up to you to find out what it is.

Have a good attitude. You have to make an appearance. It’s mandatory and you’ve already conceded to attend a mind-numbing event. So suck it up and go. Decide that since you have to be there anyway, you might as well make the best of it. Then wipe that gloom from your face and be cheerful. You can do it.

Be prepared. People will ask you open-ended questions that may leave you stuttering and wondering what, in fact, you’ve been doing with you life. Questions like, “How’s it going?” Or, “What’s happening?” It’s tempting to say, “Not much.” But try instead to be prepared with some nugget about your life that might spark a conversation. Think of this before you go so you’ll be ready.

Stay away from politics. You’ve heard this advice over and over, but after a glass of wine or three, resolve weakens. After all, we need to have a conversation. We need to get to the bottom of what’s going on in our country, other countries, the world. BUT. You are at a holiday gathering where harmony is the watchword. If you must discuss politics, choose the right time and place. Your Aunt Agatha’s brunch is not it.

Introduce yourself. Be the adult in the room and make sure you meet folks you don’t know. Especially those who seem to be lost or alone. Go introduce yourself and try to put your new friend at ease. Find some common ground. After all, you both ended up at the same party. You both know the host or someone who knows someone who knows the host. Ask you new friend what connection he has. It’s a good starting point.

Have some topics ready. There are plenty of things in this world besides religion or politics. There are books, movies, music, television shows, art galleries, magazine articles, food, restaurants, travel, sports. And more. And if you’re at a Christmas party, for example, you can ask what your new friend likes best about the holiday. You might share your fondest memories of Christmas Eve. Or your family traditions. Find out what others’ are too.

So go forth and enjoy the holidays. Like anything, when you put a little effort into it, you get more out of it. You might even have fun.

About The Author: Nancy Travers is an Orange County Counseling professional. If you need safe, effective counseling services, please get in touch. You can reach her here: http://www.nancyscounselingcorner.com/contact-us.

A Long Time In The Brewing

With an opening date finally set, we surveyed the scene at La Cabra Brewing, in Berwyn. If it sounds familiar, it’s because its brewer’s been testing the waters for a while now.

By Mike Madaio        Photography by Matthew J. Rhein

In recent weeks, Dan Popernack’s found himself reflecting often on the circuitous route that’s led him, a home brewer once upon a time, to the cusp of opening his own craft brewery and gastropub.

“I’ve been developing this concept for 10 years,” he told me last month, as we surveyed the construction-in-progress at the future home of La Cabra Brewing in Berwyn. Though, later, I’ll find an interview he did back in 2013 in which he quoted the same duration. “Ten years of thinking, planning, researching, talking to every bartender, brewpub owner, distributor that I could before I felt confident enough.”

What he’s created is a compelling lineup of beers that deftly walks the line between and adventurous, paired with a Latin-inspired menu that runs much the same, served in a dramatic setting in which every intriguing, historic feature’s been restored and accentuated.

“We probably could’ve been open by now, but we don’t believe in rushing,” Popernack says. “We’ll open exactly on time.”

That time came Tuesday.

Popernack taught himself home-brewing in college. “My parents wouldn’t let me drink in the house, but they gave in when I said I’d make it myself,” he says. Later, he worked at The Beeryard, in Wayne, while he pursued his master’s at Villanova. La Cabra started to come into focus in 2013, while he was teaching at The Phelps School and home-brewing in his spare time. It was then when he launched a mailing list that quickly found a cult-like following. In it, Popernack described his latest experimentations and made available “samples” to the recipients. The arrangement is officially described as a “brewery-in-planning.” Aspiring craft brewers can make and share their beer with the public, but they can’t sell it. Think of it as a means of fostering a grassroots following with the expectation that it’ll lend some momentum to an eventual brick-and-mortar opening.

Popernack’s since built his reputation, and, in turn, La Cabra’s, on sour, funky beers crafted from wild yeast and barrel-aging, the kind that the nerds seem to make the most noise about. But they tend to not play as well with the casual-drinking crowd. “Of course I’m going to keep doing that,” Popernack says, as he shows me around an aging room in the basement. “But if that’s all I wanted to do, I would have stayed home.”

One of his aims is to riff off the food menu. “Playing with food pairings is actually one of my favorite things,” he says. And he’s quite talented at it. La Cabra’s Juno Pale Ale, infused with lime zest and rosemary, may be the best taco beer I’ve ever had.

Popernack’s, of course, devoted as much intention in partnering up and assembling his staff, from the chef to the servers, as he has to every tangible component. But while their missions may be aligned, they’re not singular.

“The bottom line is that we want people to feel welcome here, like they’re walking into our home, whether they’re really into beer or not,” Popernack says. “I’m obviously passionate about it. I’ve devoted my life to it. But beer isn’t everything. If we can be good neighbors, great members of the community, then we’ll really have achieved something.”

La Cabra Brewing, 642 Lancaster Avenue, Berwyn.

 

5 Fall-inspired Beers You Need to Try—And Not a Hint of Pumpkin to be Found

La Cabra Brewing Belma

The inherent berry flavor of the Belma hop, the banana esters of a wheat beer, united by the comforting spice of a traditional witbier.

Conshohocken Brewing Company Puddlers Row ESB

It’s not seasonal and it’s not especially trendy—the extra special bitter was big at the inception of the craft movement, back in the nineties—but this ale’s a near-perfect match for this schizophrenic weather. Toasty, mild sweetness up front, crisp and dry on the back end.

Flying Fish Brewing Co. Exit 7 Pork Roll Porter

The true meat here is a robust, dark-roasted malt which forges a beer that tastes closer to a Tootsie Roll than a pork roll.

Free Will Brewing Co. Coffee Oatmeal Brown

Crafted by cold-steeping an already-rich, brown ale with freshly roasted coffee beans, the resulting flavor is fueled by waves of sweet raisin and molasses with a pleasantly bitter undercurrent.

Victory Brewing Company Moonglow Weizenbock

Rich caramel complemented by the warmth of clove, the sweetness of banana and the brightness of apple. —MM

4 Easy Ways To Declutter Before The Big Move

Moving and packing are stressful. It is even more stressful when you have a lot of items that you don’t know what to do with. You know what I’m talking about, the clutter that accumulates over the years and continues to pile up. The vase from your husband’s aunt, the knick-knack from your cousin. Clothing that was last in fashion a decade ago. Threadbare towels. DVDs. When was the last time you even watched a DVD?

Fear not. This brief guide outlines four simple ways to declutter for a move.

  1. Stage a rummage sale

Unload your unwanted stuff and earn a little cash for it in the process. Win, win. Now, you’re decluttering for a move and covering some of its cost. Just keep in mind that your primary aim here is to end the day empty-handed, not with a wad of bills in your back pocket, so price everything to sell fast.

  1. Spread heirlooms among your family

If you are downsizing, space will be critical, so you’re going to have to start prioritizing your possessions. Even the heirlooms—actual and the stuff that just holds a lot of sentimental value. Obviously, you’d prefer not to sell or donate anything that’s been handed down through your family for generations, so start asking your siblings and cousins if they have any interest in it. They’re your first line. Your closest friends are your second. The sentimental stuff especially is likely to be just as meaningful to your friends because they’re the ones you interact with most frequently. Even if they didn’t have a hand directly in those experiences, they may still remember them.

  1. Donate to local organizations

Yes, it’s convenient to toss your unwanted things, especially in the frenzy haze of moving, but it’s wasteful. Best-case scenario: A small fraction of it will be recycled. The remainder’s going to be plowed under at a landfill. If there’s still some wear left in your clothes and some use in your household utensils and accessories, donate them. Scheduling a pick-up with a charity, these days, is even easier than trashing your things. Now you’re moving them to the front porch instead of all the way out to the curb. And you’re helping any number of people.

  1. Auction them off online

If you’re a planner, you’re probably preparing to pack for your move weeks in advance. With that kind of lead, you’re buying yourself ample time to separate what’s coming with you from all that’s not. So add another couple of steps and turn a profit. Snap of photo of each unwanted thing and post it to eBay, or list it on Craigslist. You’ll be amazed what there are markets for. That said, the aim here is the same as the rummage sale’s: to end up empty-handed. So price to sell. And don’t be swallowed by the process. Packing’s a big enough chore. If you find yourself devoting too much time to shipping your sales or meeting with potential buyers, scrap it and go with the rummage sale instead.

As you can see, there are many ways to declutter before the big move. If you need help organizing a move or you need help packing for moving, make sure to contact Creating Balance. We’re willing and able to tackle all of organizing needs at your convenience.

TV Lifts In The Garage For The Ultimate Man Cave

With a TV Lift, the garage is the new place in the house to hang out

Only a few years ago, the home garage was characteristically known as the place for working on the car or the latest household task, or for just storing junk. But that changed in short order once we stopped relegating the TV to the living room and bedroom. Add a TV to the garage, and suddenly you’ve got that man cave you’ve always coveted, or an out-of-the-way space for your teenage children to hang out (and spill freely).

Regardless of its use, wall space in the garage can be hard to come by. Enter the TV lift.

Using that unused corner space

If you’re looking into TV wall mounts that swivel, consider utilizing a corner post. The angle of the swivel is controlled via remote so it can be adjusted easily whenever the light changes or you switch your viewing location.

Using the ceiling

If your garage has a ceiling, TV lifts that swivel can be installed there. When you’re ready to watch, the TV lowers into the garage and then swivels to the position of your choice.

Because of the thinness of the TV, a flat panel TV lift can usually be installed in the ceiling. Whether you choose a flip-down lift, a fold-lift, or a drop-down lift, the ceiling is often the favorite place for concealing a TV, and the garage is no exception.

Finding the optimal place for a TV in your garage ultimately depends how you choose to watch it. If you spend a lot of time there, consider your activities first. They’ll describe your viewing style—active or passive. The former prioritizes a prime location, more for you and your guests than the TV, because there are only so many places to sit. While the latter suggests an out-of-the-way spot that makes the most of as little space as possible.

Why It Is Not A Good Idea To Mount Your TV Above Your Fireplace

Nice as they look together, your TV and fireplace aren’t best friends. Learn How They Can Get Along.

Marrying the TV and the fireplace is a popular design move because both tend to act as the focal points of the living room, which means one seating arrangement fits all. But that convenience can come with a price.

Why it’s not a good idea to mount your TV above your fireplace

Mounting a TV above a fireplace is not a good idea for one main reason: It’s far from optimal for the TV, and it may even dramatically shorten its lifespan.

Electronic devices run better at lower temperatures. So putting a TV directly above a source of high heat causes its internal bits to degrade very quickly. Even without a roaring fire immediately below it, a television generates a generous amount of its own heat, so compounding that with heat from the fireplace is even more damaging.

Smoke is far from ideal for a TV’s health. Much like cigarette smoke inside a car, smoke from a fireplace can deposit a film over the TV screen, dulling it.

Another deterrent for mounting a TV above a fireplace is the viewing height. Watching a TV that is mounted so high on a wall creates issues for most of us. Namely, neck strains. Binge-watching isn’t nearly as fun when you can’t turn your head the next day.

How to Pair Your TV and Fireplace

Using a TV ceiling lift with a fireplace

One way to put your TV near your fireplace without subjecting it to the heat or the smoke is to employ a TV ceiling lift a few feet in front of the fireplace. This hidden lift extends the TV down in front of the fireplace, leaving a few feet between them.

And because the length of the extension can vary, you can adjust the viewing height of the TV using a remote control. A television lift can also allow the plasma TV to swivel to offer the best view.

However you ultimately arrange it, remember that your TV is a significant investment, so make sure that it’s housed in a way that extends its life as long as possible.

What You Don’t Know About Cyber Crime Could Hurt Your Business

Keep Your Business Safe From Cyber Crime And Data Breaches

The large-scale breaches, we hear about—Target, Sony Pictures, Yahoo. But hacking is a constant occurrence anymore. Most of us are operating under the belief that we’re flying under the radar, but, really, the odds are turning less in our favor by the day. We’re not sitting ducks, though. Cyber crime insurance is designed, in part, to cover the cost of restoring lost or corrupted data, which could mean the difference in your business surviving such an attack.

No one is immune from cyber crime. Allow us to explain why.

“My business is too small to bother with”

Small to midsize companies comprise 85 percent of reported breaches. And more than 60 percent of them never recover.

“There’s nothing to be gained from stealing my data”

Everything from Social Security numbers to health records to seemingly innocuous contact information can be monetized in the wrong hands.

“My third-party vendor has up-to-date security”

If a corporation the likes of Target can be let down by a third-party vendor’s cyber security, the same can happen to your business. With technology evolving as rapidly as it is, it’s impossible to say with total assurance that any protection is guaranteed.

If you’re thinking that supplementing your current policy with cyber crime insurance is beyond your means, you could be jeopardizing everything you own. Crisis response and legal fees alone can run more than half a million dollars in a typical case. In less than a minute, literally, your world could be turned upside down. Being covered means your company will live to see another day.

What You May Be Missing in Your Quest for Better Health

The Wellness Puzzle

So many Americans struggle with the feeling that their bodies just are not working as they should. From low energy levels, to stiffness and pain, they feel the effects that both physical and mental stresses have on their bodies. They want to regain a sense of vitality, so that they can enjoy their lives to the fullest, rather than feel like they are moving in slow motion. The health and wellness industry well knows this, which is why we see endless infomercials offering the latest supplements, hottest exercise programs, and more. They make millions of dollars selling “cure-alls,” while we continue to search for solutions to overcome these struggles.

If you feel like your body just isn’t fulfilling its potential, now is the time to discover how Rolfing® structural integration may provide that missing piece of your individual wellness puzzle.

Structural integration bodywork aims to address an integral part of your body that many of us never really know about: your fascial system. Your fascia is the network of connective tissue that runs throughout your body, bringing together all of the parts into one, functioning whole. However, sometimes, issues with your fascial system, such as parts that have become thickened or fibrous, end up pulling your entire body out of alignment. At first, you may not notice this issue, but over time, that stiffness, poor posture, and general sense of discomfort all start creeping in. Rolfing aims to correct these aberrations through deep tissue body work, which helps correct any fascial aberrations. As a result, Rolfing helps people improve posture and ease of movement while also reducing chronic pain and restoring a sense of vitality.

About Author: As a trusted structural integration practitioner, Certified Advanced Rolfer® Bob Alonzi believes that our own paths to personal wellness our as individualized as we are. However, he is also passionate about educating his clients on how their fascial systems contribute to their overall health. If you want to learn more about Rolfing, and how it can help you feel better, stronger, and more in tune with your body, contact his office at 310-451-3250 for an appointment.

How To Put More Romance In Your Relationship

You remember the first rush of new love. Your heart thumped at the sight of him. You ran yellow lights just to get home faster to see her. You know, the lust-filled, weak-willed, can’t-stop-thinking-of-him phase of being in love. It was wonderful, of course, but no one can keep it up forever or you’d explode. At some point your hormones calm down and you move on to a deeper, saner kind of love.

That’s when it’s nice to add a little romance to your relationship. Here are some ideas:

Dine—don’t just eat dinner. Set a beautiful table. Find some vintage tablecloths and napkins. Maybe some antique plates. Put some posies in a pitcher—or just forage for something in your yard. Maybe small branches of a tree or greens from a juniper. Be resourceful. Don’t forget candles—arrange them in all shapes and sizes on the table. And play some romantic music. The food itself doesn’t need to be fancy as long as the atmosphere is.

Dance in the kitchen. Or anywhere. Put on some slow music and hold each other, the old-fashioned way. You don’t even have to dance. Just move your bodies to the music. Whisper in his ear. Serenade her while you dance. Softly sing the lyrics as you glide together. Be spontaneous.

Read out loud to her. Select a sexy novel and find the love scene. Turn off all the electronic devices so you won’t be interrupted. Get comfy and cuddle together on the sofa. Read slowly, with expression. Or take turns reading. And if sexy novels aren’t for you, try romantic poetry like Kahil Gibran’s The Prophet. Discover something new and beautiful together.

Say more than “I love you.” Yes, it’s good to say you love her frequently and often. But sometimes it becomes a bit perfunctory, like “love you” at the end of every phone call. That’s fine, but try adding to it. Like, “I love the way you smile.” Or, “You really look spectacular in that dress.” Or, “ I’ve always loved the way you captivate people when you tell a great joke.” Appreciate the wonderful things about your partner—large or small—and let him know it. Better yet, say it in front of his friends.

Deliver a Tender Touch. Every once and awhile, it’s nice to connect by touch. Invite your partner outside to look at the stars and hold her hand. No words required. Or rub his shoulders while he’s doing the dishes. Or linger a little longer with what is usually a quick hello kiss. Or just touch her arm gently as you pass by her on the sofa.

Of course you can do overtly romantic things like bring her flowers or kidnap him to a romantic weekend getaway, and those are great to do. But you don’t have to spend much to put romance into your relationship. Being thoughtful about your partner is the sexiest thing there is.

About the Author: Nancy Travers is an Orange County Counseling professional. If you need safe, effective counseling services, please get in touch. You can reach her here: http://www.nancyscounselingcorner.com/contact-us.

How To Decluttering Your Life, One Square Foot at a Time

Decluttering your home has become a major theme in the past decade.

In turn, many methods have emerged for paring down the material possessions that once comprised your life and now consume it. Some, naturally, are far more effective than others. The approach that suggests talking to an item, asking if it would like to stay, may not get you very far. But if you tend to avoid confrontation, it’s about as gentle as breakups get.

By contrast, one of the best solutions to declutter your home is to clean an area by the square foot, or even the square inch. Doing so not only makes the task feel more manageable, it forces a closer examination of the area in question.

Whether it’s a desktop or a countertop, looking at a certain area by removing everything that sits upon it compels us to assess the value of each item. How you rate them will depend upon your own private value system, but we’d like to make a recommendation: Only keep the things that are valued in one of the following ways:

  • It’s beautiful and/or it gives you pleasure
  • It’s useful in some practical way
  • It’s necessary for record-keeping

If an item doesn’t meet these criteria, either give it away or throw it away. You’re basically decluttering your house as if you were decluttering it for a move. In fact, a move is one of the rare occasions when we find ourselves motivated enough to strip down to the bare essentials. A move’s a fresh start. And who wants to lug even one more box than necessary?

If you can approach each surface, each drawer and each cupboard with this same mindset, you’ll find yourself with a lot more breathing room in no time. You’ll be surprised, once you get there, just how much all that stuff was weighing you down, figuratively and literally.

About the Author: Cheryl Perkins is a certified holistic nutrition consultant and professional residential organizer in the Southern California’s beach cities and the Los Angeles surrounding areas. In short, a Wellness Coach!